1. |
This Is the Rock
04:15
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This is the burden I carry
And it drags me down into this earth
It has made me its prisoner
From the moment of my birth
It defines me for what I am
It is the essence of my worth
This is the rock
This is the rock
This is the rock
This the secret I live with
One that nobody knows
It starts as a seedling
And then it mutates and then it grows
It has lofted me to my highs
And buried me in its lows
This is the nightmare I live
Through all of my waking days
Just when I think I am done with it
It unleashes a new phase
It has got me now
Now and for always
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2. |
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I feel it coming on like a storm front moving in
And I black out, I black out
It swallows me up and spits me into the abyss
And I wither and I fade
Everything appears to be a million miles away
Like peering through the wrong end of a telescope
I am hanging on if only barely
And I know nothing will ever save me
All the pain in the world
All the pain in the world
I feel it
I gotta wonder why this is happening to me
But I have no answer, no answer
Maybe I’m just a bad guy beneath the good guy veneer
And this my penance
My just deserts
But what did I ever do to anyone really
Can’t think a single person I fucked over
Maybe there was that one time
Or maybe there were a lot more times
All the pain in the world
All the pain in the world
I feel it
I wish that I could just fall out of love forever
It only ever gives me grief, fucking grief
What does it matter if I ever have sex again
Or if someone holds me
Just to hold me
Got let go of everything I’ve ever known
Kiss it goodbye
And say good riddance
I’d be better off without it
Because what I need only ever gives me
All the pain in the world
All the pain in the world
I feel it
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3. |
Blue Period
05:22
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The light down here is pretty dim
It's hard to see my way
I keep crashing and falling down
Like a jiggly anime
Times are hard and times are mean
Not no one with half a heart
I keep hoping for a new dawn
A brand-new start
I take a pill to lift me up
But it does not take for long
I start sliding down a slippery slope
Can't recall went I felt strong
I draw your face in my oatmeal
I write your name on the sky
I am deep in the valley of ash
It all seems to magnify
I am blue, I am blue, I am blue, period
I am blue, what can I do, I am blue, period
I play some chords on my mandolin
But they sound out of tune
I smash the thing against the wall
Like I am Keith Moon
Please don't try to text me, girl
I don't got a smart phone
Don't want nothing from no one at all
Just leave me alone
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4. |
Unquiet Mind
05:37
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There is hurt here
A world of pain
A world of pain that no one sees
No one would know it
It’s not on my face
No it’s a deep down dark deep disease
Unquiet mind, unquiet mind
Up there nothing’s safe and warm
Unquiet mind, unquiet mind
Up there there’s a raging storm
There is hurt here
A world of sadness
A world of sadness buried underneath
It is not apparent
With all the jokes I tell
I keep it dug down beneath clenched teeth
The unquiet mind is never sleeping
The unquiet mind is wide awake
The unquiet mind brings on the darkness
You give and give and it does take
There’s a dream here
One that’s replayed
One that’s replayed for all eternity
Never got no caring
Never got no loving
That’s what was the death of me
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5. |
Up to Me
04:31
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Who’s got my back
There ain’t no one
There ain’t no one coming to my rescue
I am not good with it
This whole thing sucks
What the hell can I do
There ain’t no hope
And there ain’t no cure
The best I can do is endure
No one can help with this misery
In the end it's up to me
In the end it's up to me
It’s the way I am meant to be
Up to me
Up to me
You got the answer
I don’t think so
I don’t think you know what you’re doing
Will I get better
I mean what is better
Just some ghost I am pursuing
There ain't no balm
There ain’t no fix
In your bag of tricks
No one can help with this misery
Who will catch me when I fall
There ain’t no one there
No one at all
Who will love me
There ain’t no one
There ain’t no one gonna feel that way
It won’t be you
That’s for certain
It’s clear in what you do and what you say
I won't be good
I ain’t ever gonna heal
Of this I just gotta be real
No one can help with this misery
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6. |
My Memory of You
04:13
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Here is a memory I have of you
You staring right through me like a laser
‘Bout to cut me in two
Slice me up like a razor
I was always helpless in your hands
Your hands spreading through my ancient lands
How could I ever forget
How could I ever forget
How could I let you go
How could I ever let you go
Here is a memory I have of you
You hiding under a blade of grass
I nearly mowed you down
But in the end I saved your ass
You were never all that thankful
Never cared to fill me up by my tankful
Please forgive me if I got it back to front
My memory's not what it used to be
You can go ahead and fill in the blanks
Make it what you choose it to be
Here is a memory I have of you
You bleeding out right there on the table
Your clammy hands clenched into mine
Your vital signs unstable
And then your lights went out
Halfway through this wandering walkabout
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7. |
Let Go of Me
04:35
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You really got a hold on me
And it's driving me insane
Ain't the funny kind of nuts
But the kind that causes real pain
So I ask you to have mercy
Have mercy on me
And set me free
Set me free
When I see your sweet green eyes
I feel a strange old stirring
It's like being on a carousel
And I get dizzy from all the whirring
So I'm asking to have mercy
Have mercy on me
And set me free
Set me free
C'mon and let me go
C'mon and let me go
Let go of me
Let go of me
This old body ain't got nobody
And this old body wants you
What's a poor boy
What's a poor boy to do
You really got a hold on me
And you just won't let me go
And I try to pull away from you
But I'm caught in your undertow
So I'm asking to have mercy
Have mercy on me
And set me free
Set me free
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8. |
Playing the Victim Card
03:50
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I guess you're right, I guess you're right
I done you wrong, done you wrong
What did I do, what did I do
I can't recall, can't recall
Did I say something that hurt you
If I did I'm truly sorry
Please forgive me, please forgive me
Don't mean to seem so cold and hard
But why do you gotta play the victim card
You do not look like you been scarred
Still you keep on playing the victim card
You make a scene, you make a scene
And I feel bad, feel real bad
What did I do, hell I don't know
I don't know
You're sensitive
Whatever it is I take it back
I hope that you can forgive me
I am sorry, I'm so sorry
I know I can be a little bit callous
Don't always think before I speak
You see I like to play the tough guy
And tough guys like to prey on the weak
I guess you're right, I guess you're right
I caused you pain, caused you pain
It don't bug me
No it doesn't bug me
It's what I do, what I do
You gotta have someone to shove around
Gotta have someone to wind up
Grow a pair, grow a pair
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9. |
Get Out of My Head
04:25
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It's kinda filthy in here
Does't feel too safe
And there's not a lot I can do about it
Try to straighten it up
Try to tamp it down
But in the end all I do is shout out it
Get out of my head
Leave me alone
You only ever lead me to ruin
Get out of my head
You old devil you
Don't think I don't know what you're doin'
It's pretty dark in here
Tripping over my shit
And I can't find the switch to turn on the light
Ain't nobody to help me
Ain't nobody to clear a path
Nobody can save me from my plight
It's really ugly in here
The drapes are dirty dull brown
And it smells like hydrogen sulfide
There is no escape
The door is boarded up shut
Got no idea about the world on the outside
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10. |
Bonkers
04:08
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What is it like to be in my head
It's like a hive of bloodthirsty bees
They whirl around in a black cloud
Like a pack of touristy Chinese
They take a picture of every little thing
And spread their deadly disease
Bonkers, I am bonkers
I'm a lunatic
Bonkers, I am bonkers
I am sick, sick, sick
What is it like to be in my head
It's a movie with no resolution
Our hero is battered and beaten
In a world of confusion
To him it is all too real
But in truth it's a delusion
There is only one way
There is only one way
There is only one way
One way out
What is it like to be in my head
It's like hell to be frank
It's like living in a world of porn
With no way to wank
Just when you think the going is good
The rug gets a yank
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11. |
Unfit Dad
05:31
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My dad used to smack me ‘round
Whenever he thought I was being bad
Seems like that was most of the time
I mean him hitting me when he got real, real mad
I was kind of puny
Couldn’t put up much of a fight
And whenever he wasn’t beating on me
I lived in constant fright
That’s no way for a kid to be
No way for a kid to be
Such was the thing with my dad and me
My dad and me
He was downright cruel
This unfit dad of mine
What he did to me was not at all cool
This unfit dad of mine
My dad packed quite a wallop
With a paddle made out of Brazilian ebony
He wailed that thing on my ass
Yeah, really beat the tar outta me
Tried to take it like a man
But I was just a little boy
And I could see from that look in his eye
That the beating me brought him twisted joy
That’s no way for a kid to be
No way for a kid to be
Such was the thing with my dad and me
My dad and me
My dad used terrorize me
With that steely glint in his gray eyes
He looked to me as a goddam mountain
And I was pint-size
I would run and duck for cover
When he came home from work
He had a couple of beers or three
And then start acting like a fucking jerk
That’s no way for a kid to live
No way for a kid to live
It’s not something I can easily forgive
This thing with my dad and me
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12. |
What You Done Did
04:52
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I came to you a bit sour on hope
Yeah I was all strung out
On transubstantiation
Did not expect much
But what I did not expect
Was a new strange sensation
What you done did
What you done did to me
What you done did
Living in agony
What you done did
What you done did to me
What you done did
Our weird alchemy
When I opened my mouth
What I said
More or less made some sense to me
You take it all in
And you take it all out
And you do it exquisitely
Holy, holy
Holy, holy
I surprised myself sometimes
'Cause what I said
Came from my psyche
You stirred me up
Made my innermost shit
Feel all spiky
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The Revenants Boston, Massachusetts
"It was hell," recalls former child.
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