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Kavvanah

by The Revenants

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1.
I will let go When I let go In my own way In my own way And I will decide Which path I choose No one else will have a say No way I will set myself free Be what I want to be In my own time In my own time I will finally make my stand I will find my promised land In my own time In my own time I will move on When I move on In that way that I can That way that I can And I will define The meaning of my life I’ll be my own helmsman My own helmsman This is how it's going to be Listen to me, listen to me I will light out When I light out Into a new territory A new territory I will think it through To the brutal end Then I will write the story Write the story
2.
Can’t believe you let me go Didn’t see it coming Shows you what I know Didn’t have a clue, no I didn’t suspect I was unprepared But now I’m wrecked What hurts the most Is not the way you took to wing What hurts the most Is every single fucking thing That’s what hurts That’s what hurts the most Can’t believe you left me flat Gave me no warning No caveat Did it all so suddenly Didn’t say see ya Did it boom, one, two, three That’s what hurts down to the marrow Down, down to the marrow It shoots right through me like an arrow Like a poison arrow Can't believe we're over and done When I wake tomorrow There won't be no sun Got no reason to go on Gonna stay in bed With the curtains drawn
3.
Hey Amy 04:42
Hey Amy, sweet Amy I so want you to know I still think of you Though it was long, long ago You lived in a duplex way out in Echo Park With cracks on the walls like a punctuation mark Oh Amy, sweet Amy You’re still here in my heart You’ve never gone away Though we are far, far apart Hey Amy, sweet Amy With your black and white TV The signal was no good so we could barely even see Was it Maltese Falcon, was it Casablanca Was it Citizen Kane or was it Willie Wonka Oh Amy, sweet Amy You're still here on my mind Don’t think I will ever get Why you left me far behind Oh Amy, dear Amy You came from Kankakee Oh Amy, dear Amy So fair and so carefree Hey Amy, sweet Amy You got your own sitcom It was Welcome Back Kotter And it was all the bomb But when it got canned You seemed to disappear However you wound up It was a bummer I fear Oh Amy, dear Amy I loved you the utmost Oh Amy, dear Amy Why’d you vanish like a ghost
4.
How many of us think we know who we are C'mon let's see a show of hands And how many of us think others know who we are Or that someone even barely understands Things aren't quite what they seem On closer inspection What if it turns out to be just a dream On closer inspection Don't be so smug and don't be so cocky You don't have all the solutions People aren't so neat and tidy They're all a bunch of convolutions You know what I think I think we're all more than a little bit nuts No matter how you try to square it It winds up bleeding blood and guts How many of us think we know who we are And just what the hell we are doing We think we got all the time in the world But it all ends while we are stewing
5.
Trouble Boy 04:00
No good for nothing That’s what they say Never much liked him anyway ‘Caused a lot of grief ‘Caused a lot of woe What became of him who’s to know Nothing but trouble This trouble boy This trouble boy Trouble boy Nothing but trouble This trouble boy This trouble boy Trouble boy He wasn’t too bright No he hadn’t a clue Couldn’t put two and two together What was his struggle What was his function Why was he unhinged from his tether They say he was crazy More than a little unhinged Like a picture in a crooked frame Who can recall The color of his eyes And what exactly was his name
6.
They all gather together All the kith and kin Except for weird old Uncle Larry Somehow he just don't fit in He is the black sheep He is the odd duck He sits over there in the corner Looking like he don't give a fuck At the gathering, it's the gathering The stilted motions they all go through At the gathering, the family gathering Hi, hello, how do you do They all sit in their places With grandpa up at the head He carves right through that turkey Man that bird sure looks dead As for weird old Uncle Larry He is high as a kite He grabs the turkey leg And he gives it a fierce bite They all come together At this time of year They laugh and they fight And they drink a lot of beer They watch the game And they conk out on the couch They eat too much Yeah they debouch This is their way This is what they do This is what they love This is what they go through And weird old Uncle Larry He is such a pain in the ass Him and his crazy ideas Always smoking grass
7.
Undertow 04:27
What’s that feeling What’s that feeling coming up from underneath It’s a sucking feeling It’s a sickly sensation That makes me gnash my teeth Oh no, oh no It’s coming after me Oh yeah, oh yeah It’s got the sting of a stingaree Pull me down, down, down, down Down I go Pull me down, down, down, down Down with the undertow What’s that sound What’s that sound that’s off in the distance It’s getting closer Getting way too near On the path of least resistance Oh no, oh no It’s massive as a tidal wave Oh yeah, oh yeah Gonna drive me to an early grave Won't through me a life buoy So I can stay afloat Won't through me a life buoy Save from this leaky boat What's that water What's that water flooding right though my home Got to run Got to hide Down in the catacomb Oh no, oh no It’s taking over my town Oh yeah, oh yeah I think I may drown
8.
Romantic love well it don’t exist at all It's just a delusion to give you hope ‘Cause life with no hope can crush the soul In a way you cannot cope Peace of mind, peace of mind How perfect that would be Peace of mind, peace of mind Peace of mind would set me free Who among us has ever felt real love I mean the kind of love you find in dreams 'Cause once you pull on a tiny thread It all comes apart at the seams I don't think I've ever met anyone Who is truly happy with their mate Yeah maybe it all began as love But by the end it wound up hate
9.
If I told you that I loved you Would you get what you wanted Would you finally be satisfied Would it make you happy Would you feel fulfilled Even if you knew that I had lied If I told you that I loved you If I told you that I loved you If I told you that you'e sexy Would it turn you on Would you feel much more like a man Would your penis look bigger Would your muscles get stronger Would look all lean and tan If I told you that I loved you If I told you that I loved you If I told that you're funny Would it boost your ego Would you be the cock of the walk Would you see in you What you want to see in me And if you did would it be a shock If I told you that I loved you If I told you that I loved you
10.
Every day I have to live with this As unpleasant as it is And by unpleasant I mean I feel downright sick All the branches of me lean Like thickets in a wild wind A candle that's left with a dry and twisted wick But here’s the funny part Not all that funny one bit If I could kill this feeling I would And I'd do it with style and wit Kill this, kill this, kill this feeling Every day I gotta deal with this As wicked as it is And by wicked I mean downright depraved It sets me spinning like a dervish Atoms in a brackish soup In which the story of the falconer is engraved Every day I have take this on As awful as it is An by awful it means I just wanna end it There's never resolution Just a scene that fades to white And there ain't no way for me to comprehend it It's torture to be enemies with the one you love
11.
Horizon 06:19
The light creeps in Illuminating And I can feel my body rise I am drawn By unknown forces And I am swimming In a tea-warm pool Under swampy skies Somewhere out there You will find me Living out the life I was meant to live Somewhere out there Beyond the horizon Passing by Like dust through a sieve I am unfolding A pack of cards opening Under a limitless sky I am dissolving into the air Wrote you a postcard But never sent it Had some things to get off my chest It is futile to weep over the mind It is enough to labor for it I am living in Djemila In a forest of stone The wind is whipping at me Like a mast
12.
Closing Time 04:27
The lights are getting dim And soon it’ll be dark as pitch Gotta say all my goodbyes To that certain son of a bitch So here I go, here I go You know that you gave me hell When you coulda given me a little lift You knew just when to kick me That was your special gift Gotta love it, love it It’s closing time Gotta hit the switch on my way out It’s closing time Beyond a shadow of a doubt It’s closing time Gotta find me a brand new route It’s closing time T’ain’t no left here about Feeling pretty tired, feeling absi-totally spent Looking at the shit I once had And I wonder where it went Where did go, huh Wish I wish I could take it all back But I know that that's a delusion What do I need to fix my head Beyond a massive contusion Hey go on ahead and do your deal Me I'll just stay here and sweep the floors Hey go on ahead and live your life Me I'll just tidy up and shut the doors I'm feeling pretty wasted but it's not me coming off drugs It's every stinking little frickin' thing Every stinking little frickin' thing bugs Yeah shit bugs I get the whole picture now I can see my entire life with clarity But the worst part of all Was letting the worst get the best of me Man, did it get the best of me
13.
Kavvanah 11:02

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"Prayer without kavvanah is like a body without a soul."

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released November 1, 2023

Cover "Kavvanah" by Eliot Wilder

Songs written and performed by Eliot Wilder

Bonus track available in download only

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The Revenants Boston, Massachusetts

"It was hell," recalls former child.

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