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Los Feliz

by The Revenants

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1.
You and I 03:53
There goes you and I Walking through this world Side by side You make me wanna sing Everywhere and everything Olive and popeyed High, high, high You and I You and I High, high, high You and I You and I There goes me and you Tripping down the lane One plus one The sky is cobalt blue We pitch around the woo It's all in fun Our love is everything Our love it takes to wing Fly, fly, fly There goes you and me Happy as can be Forever and day We have all the time Time enough at last With nothing in our way
2.
Undeserving 05:06
Why do I feel the way that I feel I don’t fully comprehend ‘Cause I don’t like to feel the way that I feel And all that those feelings portend Part of me thinks I deserve better But part me thinks I’m just bad And the part me that is the latter Just drives me mad, mad, mad Undeserving, undeserving Undeserving of all I got Undeserving, undeserving, undeserving That’s my lot Whatever good has ever come my way I’ve made sure to screw with it ‘Cause whatever good has ever come my way I could never have anything to do with it Never got no love when I was a kid Never knew just what that meant Tried so hard to get myself straight But I always wound up bent, bent, bent There weren’t no love when I was boy Just a lotta frustration and rage It was all I could do save myself And break out from that cage I bet I seem kind of silly Like a Nancy boy always complaining I spend too much time thinking about it And even more explaining But this is what it is to be who I am And I know that it's pathetic Wish I could just wish it away And fill myself with anesthetic
3.
Tough Love 04:30
Nothing I do seems to work with you No nothing, nothing at all Every move that I make with you Well I hit a brick wall I can spit in your face I can eat up all of your lunch I can threaten to rip you a new one Or tie your pants in a bunch Tough love Tough love I can pin you down on the bed And tickle you till you pee I can force you eat your spinach And I can sting you like a bee But all I do does nothing You are one tough case You stare me down with your baby blues And that stone cold look on your face You don't listen to what I say No you don't follow my advice Keep going down the path you're on And one day you'll pay the price
4.
I am waiting for this ship to sail away And lead me to my next misadventure When it comes it will sweep me out to sea And when it ends, it will end with a clincher Is that me out there on the horizon I am at the edge and I am waving Is that a smile I see on my stupid face Knowing all the travails I am braving Too thick to navigate, to thin to plough Too thick to navigate, to thin to plough Too thick to navigate, to thin to plough Living in this eternal now I am sleeping in my bed on Beacon Street When a ghost puts her cheek up next to mine She slips a mickey in the cup beside the bed Her calming presence anodyne Who am I to you is what you are to me, she says It is a riddle I know I must unravel She has the eyes of a secret song She points the way that I must travel When I think of all the dumb shit I have done It drives me mad I 'cause can’t undo it I took aim at all your vulnerable bits And I hurt you and I knew it I gotta live with all the mess that I have made I gotta get past it to save my soul What you do is not for me to say When it comes to the world I have no control
5.
It was 25 years ago And I was just itching to move I knew if I stayed right where I was I’d never get out of my groove But then as it happened The rabbit suddenly died And instead of feeling blessed I was horrified This one’s for the baby The baby we never had This one’s for the baby I’ll never not feel sad This one’s for the baby The baby we never made B-A-B-Y The memory it won’t fade I planned to move to Boston I was desperate to change my life I’d had about all I could stand Every day was storm and strife But then you called me And I freaked out like a jerk You cried your holy head off While I went berserk You won’t ever forgive me and I won’t ever forgive me No one gets forgiven, baby, oh baby It’s been 25 years now And here we are on the rocks We can’t move forward And we can’t turn back the clocks You have never absolved me And frankly neither have I Here we live side by side And turn a blind eye
6.
No one can explain it Certainly not you or me It happened just the way that it happened It happened so easily From the moment I first laid my eyes on you I felt that peculiar buzz And if you ask me why that is I can only say because Our strange magic We feel just what we feel Our strange magic And what we feel is real Our strange magic It is just what it is Our strange magic By golly gee whiz There is something about your gentle hands Something about the way that you talk Something about your deep green eyes That makes it all a cakewalk I never have to struggle To get my feelings across And girl when you’re not around I really feel at a loss If this ain’t love Well what the hell do you name it If this ain’t love I would like to proclaim it It feels so strange and foreign to me Like a flavor I’ve never tasted Every time we snuggle up We fit together cut and pasted Can’t imagine losing you The thought of it makes me sick That we ever found each other at all It’s our greatest magic trick
7.
If It's Real 04:36
I know that you believe that you love me And I know that these feelings are real Ain't gonna take that away from you Ain't gonna take away from you the way that you feel You lay your burden upon me And I absorb it like scorched earth It fills me up to very top And I feel deeply your worth If it's real to you then it's real to you If it's real to you then it's real to you If it's real to you then it's real to you Then it's real to me, real to me The way that you look out at this old world It all depends on your point of view You think you can know all there is to know Or let it go hitherto You can say they're all against you And that no one ever offers support Or you can let go of what you think you know And put your feet up on the davenport Nothing always winds up nothing Until you say just what nothing means If you let nothing be nothing It will wind up a hill of beans If you believe in what you believe No one can say if you're wrong Give yourself over to conviction It separates the weak from the strong
8.
Where I came from Don't matter no more Where I'm going I can't say I am anxious And downright distraught Don't know what's coming my way Time is but a river flowing, flowing Time is but a river to the last Time is but a river flowing, flowing Time is but a river flowing from our past What I want now Is not what I need What I need is not what I want I am hurting And I am broken I could use a little detente No one can say What lies beyond And me, I haven’t a clue What will be Is whatever will be Trafalgar or Waterloo
9.
I used to suffer from a deep and dark depression At least that was the general impression I used to suffer with what they call the blues My soul the color of a midnight bruise But I have left that all behind I got other things on my mind Now I’m on my merry way Ha ha ha and hey hey hey The world ahead is one big cabaret And me I’m on my merry way On my merry, merry way I used to think the world was against me Every little fucking thing incensed me I used to feel like I was barely human As butt ugly as Alfred E. Neuman But now all that seems a little blurry And I tell myself, What me worry I used to think I was inconsequential Never gonna live up to any sort of potential To a man I was just that guy over there That guy who seemed to be elsewhere But I am trying to turn myself around Folding up my tent in this campground
10.
Hey Marky 03:44
Marky went mad that summer It was as if he’d simply had enough He tried to keep his shit together But in the end he was just not all that tough Whenever I think about him Which is just about all of the time I think about his mountain of woes It was a mountain he simply could not climb Oh hey Marky, oh Marky I miss you ever since we been apart Oh hey Marky, sweet sad Marky You’re right here in my heart Marky’s shrink said he had BPD Which made him feel like he had no hope He was never happy with that diagnosis It became impossible for him to cope He felt the burden of the stigma Like he had an illness no one cared to treat He would never find the true love that he needed Yeah it was all just too bittersweet Miss you Marky, miss you, miss you Marky moved out to Los Angeles Lived in a bungalow in Echo Park He rode the paddle boats around the lake It was an infamous landmark Things were getting worse by the day Under that canopy of pinkish smog So he sprawled himself out on the chaise And recited his brief epilogue
11.
Everywhere I go and everyone I see Wants to be famous for the weirdest thing Like taking their pants off over their heads Or pretending to be Xi Jinping Me, I got my picture taken Me, I got my picture taken You and me in a pas de deux Me, I got my picture taken Me, I got my picture taken Me and you in a field of view Everyone I know has got to be a star With people hanging on their every word Just wanna famous for being famous Yeah it's all so completely absurd Here we are on our very first date Standing high atop the Empire State You, you got your brow slightly furled But me, I'm on top of the world I don't care for what other people do It all seems like so much desperation All I want is to be with you You're the only one in this whole nation
12.
Los Feliz 04:34
We had a little place on the East Side We called it our sugar shack Spent our days baskin' 'long the LA river Watched the ducks go quack We were the happy ones Yippie-ki-yo-ki-yay We were the happy ones All the livelong day We liked to watch all the skaters And the street artists hard at work Then the taggers they'd tag every square inch That guy Manny, what a jerk Oh the sweet life on Los Feliz Those were carefree days Oh the sweet life on Los Feliz All the usual cliches Loved our place on the East Side Though the landlord, he was a dealer And just for the shortest point in time I felt like a big wheeler

about

“There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands' necks. Anything can happen.”
―Raymond Chandler

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released December 23, 2023

Cover "Los Feliz" by Eliot Wilder

Songs written and performed by Eliot Wilder

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The Revenants Boston, Massachusetts

"It was hell," recalls former child.

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