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Ressentiment

by The Revenants

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1.
When I look back On all the crazy things I’ve done I think about the stuff I’ve lost And the stuff I’ve won What can I say Can't make tails, can't make heads I pull on a corner And unravel all the threads All my of time it has passed Just like a passing phase And all my yesterdays Have just vanished in a haze C’mon, c’mon, c’mon back When I see myself In my reflection All the good and bad It makes a connection What is the meaning What are the conditions What is reasonable And what are superstitions The sun is going down And the darkness is on the rise Can't stave it off No matter how hard I agonize This life that I've known Well it's all now in the past It may have been hell But it was over way too fast
2.
A little bit of dissonance Can slay you like a little girl But like an irritant It can also make a pearl Don’t start giving up When things are at their worst You may think you’re done When your heart’s about to burst Don’t take it easy When you see a thundercloud You may find yourself in Winslow Arizona Bloodied but unbowed If you go a-looking for an answer You may be a-wanting You think it should be simple When in fact it is quite daunting But keep all your spirits high And don’t let yourself give in You can go a long, long way When you are truly driven Don’t take it easy, don’t take it easy You're not owed a living That’s what your mom once said Just find your rhythm And bang on your drumhead The world is crazy But don’t let that get you down Just keep your head held high And you won’t ever drown
3.
I write these songs all for you And I mean every single word I know you don’t listen or so you say But I remain undeterred Here is my heart and soul Whaddaya mean you don’t feel nothing You are my rock and my roll Whaddaya mean you don’t feel nothing Whaddaya mean, whaddaya mean Whaddaya mean you don’t feel nothing I’ve built a testment to you As a symbol to your glory You can pretend I’m stone crazy But that won’t change the story You’re the reason I’m alive And I know you resist that obligation If only you would change your mind And tune into this vibration
4.
Radiate 04:43
All those things that you say Circulate around my mind They are with me all day long I can’t leave them far behind They feed my dreams They feed my soul They are the food That makes me whole You radiate With the power of the sun You radiate Your day is never done All those stories that you tell They fill up the pages of my book I keep them close to my heart Inside my every nook They tell me What I can be They are the words That comprise my history I'm a circle around your sun All the love that you give It blows through me like a gale I hold on for dear life Savoring each detail Don’t want you to stop Don’t want you to leave You are my last hope For what I might achieve
5.
You say that you love me But I know that you're lying You make such an effort Don't bother trying It's what you do I'm sure you're sincere But haven't you noticed I'm no longer here What I resent You think I should believe What I resent You think you don't deceive What I resent Is that flicker in your eye What I resent Is that it's really all a lie You say that you want me But what do you intend I am flesh and blood I am not pretend I will never fit Your perfect vision I am good and bad Heading for a collision You say that you need me But what do you need If you prick me I will bleed What hurts me most Is that you don't see me You've got no idea What it is to be me
6.
Don't wanna talk about it But if you insist OK here goes There is a place Deep down inside of me You can call it dark I suppose It is pretty scary It is pretty scary That dark place Yeah that dark place Can't control it, can't control it That dark place Yeah that dark place Down at the bottom Down at the bottom Don't wanna discuss it 'Cause what can I say Am I really that grotesque It sickens me to think it Sickens me to live it Bizarre and burlesque It is pretty ugly It is pretty ugly Just wanna tear my eyes out Just wanna tear my eyes out Just wanna tear my eyes out of my head Don't wanna ever go there But I go there every day And I fear that I might not return Am I drawn to it What's the curiosity Is really so hard for me to learn It is truly crazy It is truly crazy
7.
I would lay my life down Lay it down And I would do it with no thought I would give you my heart I would give you my soul If you'd on have this have-not Just to be with you Just to hold your hand And never, never let you go Just to be with you Just to hold you close Just to bask in your glow I would listen close I would hear you out I would write down every word I would make a book Put it in your drawer You would know you've been heard What I wouldn't do What I wouldn't do Just to be with you I would hear your jokes I would laugh out loud You would know that someone gets you I would hold you close I would hold you tight You would know that someone fits you
8.
Ressentiment 04:58
You would like to keep me here Chained to the old ways You’d wanna lock me in your dreams Back from those old dreamy days It’s not like we remember It’s not like anything at all Still we’d like to make believe As we all grow so feeble and fat Still we’d like to make believe I guess there’s nothing wrong with that Keep me here, darling keep me here Keep me here, honey keep me here You only see me as I was More than a little bit dumb Who’d ever have predicted All of the things to come It’s not like what we remember It’s not like anything at all Still we’d like to make believe As we all grow so feeble and fat Still we’d like to make believe I guess there’s nothing wrong with that You say, don’t go changing who you are Don’t go changing my memoir I prefer the way I like to recall The past don’t need no overall You’d like to stick me like a bug And pretend that everything’s the same I hate to shatter your fantasy But you knew me by a different name It’s not like we remember It’s not like anything at all Still we’d like to make believe As we all grow so feeble and fat Still we’d like to make believe I guess there’s nothing wrong with that
9.
Stuck on You 04:33
Sorry you had to see this Sorry you've been a witness You see I'm all screwed up Not good with my mental fitness I've grown quite attached Yeah there's no denying If I said I did not love ya I would be lying I am stuck on you What do I do Stuck on you Through and through I am stuck on you My world's askew Stuck on you Boo-hoo, boo-hoo Sorry I'm such a pain Sorry I've caused you grief You want to run and hide Just to get relief I wish I didn't feel this Wish the feelings weren't so strong But what I get from you Is what I've wanted my whole life long Sorry you've had to listen Sorry you've heard my story Wish things were getting better Wish it were hunky dory Wish I could be different Wish I could change my mind Wish I could be done with you But that's not how I'm designed
10.
Misery 03:36
Can't say what good you do me The pain it courses through me Hey I just want to let you go Wish that I could damn you Or maybe Son of Sam you And get away from your shadow I call your name Call it right out loud I call it out my chickadee I call your name Call it right out loud I call it misery I feel so broke and weak I can hardly speak I'd like to punch in the guts You flipped on all my switches I am a mass of glitches More than a little bit nuts I remember all the little things we done Can't you see you are my only one Your memory it taunts me Like a ghost it haunts me And it will haunt me to the end I am caught in your spell Living in this living hell Down, down, down I descend
11.
Each to their own Each to their own they say It's the only way we've ever known Find your own path And find it for yourself In the end, they say, you will wind up alone Don't call on me 'Cause I won't be there Don't call on me 'Cause I don't care I am not who you want me to be I am only here for me Don't look to me Don't you look to me for answers Gotta find it in your own way I am not a god I am not an oracle I am not the writer of your screenplay Got my own life My own way of living And you need, you need to let me go I know that it hurts I know it will break you down I say goodbye and you say hello
12.
Can’t you see The look in me The look in me And can’t you feel It’s not easy loving you And I don’t ever see you trying And I keep fighting what’s meant to be Let it all be for forgiven Let it all be for forgiven Can’t you see The fire in me And can’t you feel It’s not easy loving you And I don’t ever see you trying And I keep fighting what’s meant to be

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“Imagine the people who believe such things and who are not ashamed to ignore, totally, all the patient findings of thinking minds through all the centuries since the Bible was written. And it is these ignorant people, the most uneducated, the most unimaginative, the most unthinking among us, who would make themselves the guides and leaders of us all; who would force their feeble and childish beliefs on us; who would invade our schools and libraries and homes. I personally resent it bitterly.” ―Isaac Asimov

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released November 26, 2023

Cover photo "Ressentiment" by Eliot Wilder

Songs written and performed by Eliot Wilder

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The Revenants Boston, Massachusetts

"It was hell," recalls former child.

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