1. |
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My dad told me stories
Even now I find them hard to believe
It's not like he was pulling my leg
Or that he meant to deceive
I think he wanted to set my mind spinning
Look for a broader view
I was just a little kid
I couldn't even tie my shoe
He said, Son don't you worry
Some things you can't yet understand
A time will come for everyone
And there will be a dreamland
My dad was once a solider
Fought battles during World War II
Said he killed a bunch of Nazis
Not sure how much of that was true
He seemed larger than life
Like an oak that stretches up the moon
He warned me to be on my way
'Cause it's over with much too soon
I know it may seem tough at times
And you might be tempted to fold
But you must do what you must do
Don't ever put your life on hold
My dad was pretty funny
Had clever way with a joke
Didn't matter what he said
I loved the way that he spoke
Some of what he did was hurtful
Some of what he did was kind
Everything he ever did will always be
In my heart and on my mind
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2. |
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My kid was born here
Back in two thousand and four
It was a different neighborhood then
With some middle class and some poor
She had her own crummy little playground
'Cause we didn't have a yard
It wasn't too attractive, no, no, no
No picture postcard
We did not know it then
We were the last of the last
All the brownstones got knocked down
And the landscape changed so fast
The last family in the Fenway
Yeah that's who we were
We got swept aside
To make room for a developer
We used to know all our neighbors
There was the King of Records and crazy man Mike
And over on Clemente Field
My kid she learned how to ride her bike
One by one they all disappeared
And so did our watering hole
It was replaced by a juice bar
And the streets they lost their soul
Suddenly everyone was from China
Drinking Starbucks at eleven a.m.
They had money and time to burn
They did not see you but you saw them
They drove the rents up out of sight
And undermined our foundation
They did it without a thought
These strangers on permanent vacation
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3. |
Nuts
04:28
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It’s getting pretty crowded in here
And the noise, the noise is deafening
And I feel like I could jump out of my skin
And the smell is rank and moldy
Makes it hard to breathe
Just one more nut in this looney bin
Am I nuts, I must be nuts
Mad, I am mad
Am I nuts, I must be nuts
Crazy, man, crazy
It's getting pretty scary in here
And the bullets, the bullets are flying
And I just gotta duck and run for cover
Who is looking out for me
There's nobody in my corner
Unless you count the ghost I'm watching hover
How did I get here
Who do I have to thank
Must’ve been someone with a cruel streak
Who thinks this will help me
This paradise of tiles
That makes me feel hopeless and bleak
It's getting pretty fucked-up in here
No one knows nothing about nothing
And you know that won't turn out well
The best that you can hope for
Is something like oblivion
And that's as bad as living hell
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4. |
My Sister
04:11
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My sister she messed with me in an unpleasant way
The things she did, the things she said
Well they hurt me to this day
My sister she thinks well of herself
Like she’s magnanimous
But her high self-regard just raises my animus
Don’t care what happens to her
She shattered my heart
My sister may think that we’re close but we are so very far apart
My sister can jump off a cliff for all that I care
Wherever I been in my life my sister’s been elsewhere
My sister was mad at me
No doubt she is still
My sister just don’t get it
No doubt she ever will
My sister she got all she wanted
While I got nil
My sister she just don’t get it
No doubt she ever will
My sister she promised me money
But she didn't followed through
"Never said I do that," she said
With a face sincere and true
My sister is Lucy
And I am Charlie Brown
She sets up the football
And I go and break my crown
My sister tells a whole lotta stories and none are ever true
They all say that she means well
But then she goes and turns the screw
I just had to give up on her if only for protection
Whatever we had whatever we were
I severed that connection
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5. |
Greatest Hate of All
05:17
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I can recall the first time I saw you
And I knew it then that you'd be big trouble
I told myself that I could look past it
But I guess that I could just not look past it
You stand so straight and so tall
You are my greatest hate of all
I knew that you were pretty damn tricky
You kept friends close and your enemies closer
People said I should be ready for the worst
And I guess that I should've kept that in mind
And I will hate you
Till the end of days
And I will hate you
And your hateful ways
You make it seem like nothing is different
None of it happened at least in your mind
But I beg to differ and I'm not forgetting
One day I'll tell you just how I feel
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6. |
Breaking Point
04:08
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The more I think about you, the more I think about you
And it does me no good at all
I wind up obsessing and it’s oh so distressing
Forever caught in your thrall
Whatever way I see it is whatever way I see it
And I’m sticking to it like epoxy
Doesn’t make my life better but I wear you like a sweater
Yeah it all seems kinda paradoxy
Can’t take it no more, just can’t stand it
I am at the breaking point, at the breaking point
About to be cut into two
I am at the breaking point, at the breaking point
What’s this old boy gonna do
The more I try to live with it, the more I try to live with it
And the less I feel good about it
I find myself clinging to the siren of your singing
And I fear I may have to live without it
It brings me so much grief and zero relief
What exactly am I really after
The world of your eyes
The bridge of your nose
The beauty of the sound of your laughter
I just can’t let it go no matter what I do
It’s a kind of madness this deep dark sadness
That I live with each and every day
You’re never not on my mind to that I am resigned
Living in this passion play
If I could let you go I would let you go
But for some reason I’m not keen to
I’ve become unhinged
Living on this fringe
I do crazy things I do not mean to
Nothing can stop it, nothing can fix it
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7. |
Gentrifaction
04:00
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Used to be my neighborhood
Was a friendly place
Used to be I fit right in
With every friendly face
But all I knew
Is gone without a trace
Gentrifaction
I feel so alone
Gentrifaction
Home bitter home
Used to know the guy next door
His name was Phil
Whenever something was wrong with me
He gave me a pill
But now he's gone
And I miss him still
Yeah, I pine for the good old days
When I fit right in
When someone says there's a bright tomorrow
I say where have you been
Used to be I felt quite at ease
When I hung out
Now everything seems foreign to me
There is no doubt
Guess I gotta be moving along
Find me another route
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8. |
Adieu
04:27
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I held on with all my might
No way would I cut you loose
It was doing me no good at all
Just holding on was a form of abuse
Thought about the good and the bad
All the pros and cons I was debating
Thought that I could make it work somehow
But in the end my love was suffocating
No, no, no, don't wanna be letting go of you
No, no, no, don't wanna be letting go adieu
Tried to justify my primal actions
All the hows and whys
It all made perfect sense to me
Even though it was extremely unwise
One wants love and be loved in return
One wants to care but not too much
One wants to give and one wants to get
One wants to hold on but not clutch
Should've considered what I was doing
Should've considered the long-term effects
But for me that way of thinking
Was much too complex
You were my single most precious thing
And my intentions were always pure
I was only trying to find a way
To make my love for you endure
But I got hung up on my own needs
And I did not see you were trying to grow
All I knew was my selfish heart
And I did not want to let you go
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9. |
No Words
03:18
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There are no words
That explains this away
There are no words that'll give you solace
There are no words
That to make this right
Like expecting your life to be flawless
I had to do what I had to do
Didn’t see I had no choice
So let me make one thing perfectly clear
While I still have a voice
There are no words
That'll make you feel better
There are no words that will change a thing
There are no words
That will justify my actions
That will ever take out the sting
Sorry for the hurt I’ve caused
It's got nothing to do with you
You see I got this rotten old thing
That colors my world blue
There are no words
That will make you not hate me
There are no words that will bring me back
This is gonna haunt you
For the rest of your days
The outlook is admittedly black
I wish I had the will
To turn it all around
But you see I been laid so low
So low I’m already underground
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10. |
How I Wish
04:09
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Every day when I wake up
I wake up to the thought of you
And I don't know what in hell I can do
I start to think about you
Then I think and think about you
And I write to you a billet-doux
How I wish
How I wish and wish
How I wish my dream would come true
How I wish
How I wish and wish
How I wish my dream were you
Every day that I am living
I know that I am really living
Because I feel you deep inside my heart
You're there in my mind's eye
The best seat in the house
We are never, no never far apart
Every night when I am in my bed
You right there by my head
At least a ghost of you is sleeping well
I reach to take your hand
But it's like holding sand
Like being cast by a wicked spell
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11. |
The Weepin' Song
05:06
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What if I'd been there for you
Would you still be alive
What if I had held your hand
Would you have survived
What if I'd listened close
And heard what you had to say
Would it have made a difference
Would you be here today
This is the weepin' song
And I weep for you
This is the weepin' song
Thirty shades of blue
This is the weepin' song
The weepin' will not end
This is the weepin' song
I weep for you my friend
What if I paid attention
And saw how you were shattered
What if I showed a little more love
Would you've been so beaten and battered
What if I'd looked at all of the signs
And acted a little more quick
When I think of what I might have done
It just makes my heart feel sick
So many nights I stay awake
And I rack my brain
So many nights I stay awake
And my tears fall down like rain
I think about what I might've done
If only for relief
I think about what I might've done
But in the end I just feel grief
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12. |
Calm Cool Face
05:31
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Desire fingers me
With a slow fuck on the courting chair
Holding in and letting go
The beeping of the backhoe
It’s all a million miles away
I know you’re out there
I can hear you breathing
And I can hear your sighs
I hear your sighs
And the calm cool face of the river
Asked me for a kiss
I’m awake now
And the landscape unfolds like a ribbon
There’s a ring of fire
With the face of a Cheshire
Makes you break into a laugh
What other choice do I got
But to flap like paper
Against endless corridors
There are choices to be made here
Something I can say I know all too well
Suddenly I have no face
Like foam erasing my human race
I must press my hand against the wall
To draw myself back
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The Revenants Boston, Massachusetts
"It was hell," recalls former child.
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