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Typhoid Mary

by The Revenants

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1.
As painful as it was As painful as it is I can’t keep these feelings at bay They are with me For all time An endemic not going away There is a seed Buried deep down inside It is the cause of all my woe Like a voice That screams inside my head It follows me wherever I go Hard to explain it Harder to live with And I’m the only one to hear it It has a language All its own And I’ve got reasons to fear it And it says Come along, come along with me I am you’ll ever need Come along, come along with me I am the seed I am the seed I have felt it All of my life And I gotta say I can’t take it no more I have fought it But now I surrender I am a prisoner of war
2.
Learned about God and the Golden Rule Learned so many things in my Sunday school Like the blood of Christ and all things divine And how Jesus turned the water into the wine Learned about religion and its history Learned about the supernatural mystery Learned about the good and learned about the bad And the way those Catholic schoolgirls wear that plaid Learned about the difference between them and us Learned about consequences if I should cuss Learned about giving up candy for lent And if I do wrong how should I repent Learned about the gospels and how they apply Learned I better not ever tell a lie 'Cause when I die I will go to hell As sure as the nuns ring the church bell Going back to Sunday school, all right Going back to Sunday school, uptight Learned that God will smite me if I am ever mean Learned to stay away from thoughts impure and unclean Learned about abstinence, learned to use rhythm Learned that "jism" rhymes with "catechism" Learned all of my prayers from that great big holy book Learned to keep away from priests who get that funny look Kept a code of silence all about the secret stuff Learned to be polite and never give off any guff Ate my fish on Friday's dipped in tartar sauce Got down on my knees and prayed to Jesus on the cross Learned that I must not fuss, bitch or complain And never, ever, ever take the Lord's name in vain Learned to tell a sinner from a saint Learned to tell who's righteous from those who ain't Learned when to sit and when to speak When to take it on the chin and to turn the other cheek
3.
The last time I saw Sarah was forty years ago And I didn’t know then that that was it for us I still recall her skin So supple and so brown And now that all seems so superfluous What really mattered then Don’t matter no more ‘Cause I’m getting right near the end of the line No more dreams No more nothing at all Of that I am adamantine If I could I would I’d find my way on back to you In another world we’d be scorching You’d be my buckarette And I would be your buckeroo The last time I saw Sarah she was standing on her stoop And I didn’t know she was waving bye-bye Thought it might be mosquitos Or perhaps a nervous tick Or maybe she was saying hello to the sky But she slipped from my sight And I’ve been chasing her for years Would be nice to see her Even for a sec Maybe at some dive down in Tangiers Bet you think I’m a fool If you ever think of me at all Bet you think I’m a nuts And all I say is merely folderol The last time I saw Sarah it flat out broke my heart And the pain it lingers on until this day Wish I could say fuck it Once and for all But in the end she’s got held me in her sway Don’t make me track you down Or get up in your shit It could wind up a pretty ugly scene Hey I’m kidding Who do you think this is Oh my darling Clementine
4.
I'm invisible now You can see right through me Don’t wear no underwear ‘Cause no one, no one can see People pass me by Just like I don’t exist Don’t matter if I’m happy or I’m sad If I’m peaceful or if I’m pissed When was I last seen It’s been so many a year When was I last seen No one even saw me disappear I am a ghost That thing that goes bump in the night Did I spook you a little bit Did I give you a fright Hey I know that I don’t matter When I’m gone I’ll be gone I was barely a blip A nondescript emoticon I am out of sight Not in a way that means I’m cool It means I can’t be seen Not even in the bottom of this cesspool Don’t go a-looking Seek and you will not find I am but a microdot In this wretched, wretched mankind
5.
Typhoid Mary 05:07
When you got it you got it That’s how the old saw goes And when you got it You spread it around From runny nose to runny nose It is invisible But that don’t mean it isn’t real And once you catch it It will swallow you whole like a meal Here she comes Here she comes Ugly, weird, and scary Here she comes Here she comes Here comes Typhoid Mary No place to run You cough and you sniffle And you shiver and you sneeze You feel the kind of shitty That brings you down, down to your knees It courses through your veins And fogs up bleary mind It leaves a bitter taste This disease of mankind Once you got it you got it Welcome aboard You are now one of us now So saith the lord It's not ever gonna leave you It plans to stick around Knock, knock Who's there Such a sinister sound It didn't have to be But now it's here for all time It will ooze through this world Like primordial slime
6.
I don’t like ya No not one bit I don’t like ya You stinking pile of shit Keep your distance Keep off my grass Come any closer I’ll kick your ass You make me sick You make me sick You make me sick You make me sick Hate your guts Hate your hair Hate your gait Hate your stare Get outta my space Get outta my town If you don’t step off I’ll knock you down Tell me I’m a racist Tell me I’m xenophobic Tell me I’m a bigot I’ll tell ya I’m a stoic Tell me I’m hateful Call me misogynistic Tell me I’m extremist I’ll tell you I’m realistic I will mock you Any way I can Scream above the rooftops From here to Japan I will knock you down From your high perch See how you like it, baby Being lost in the lurch
7.
The hardest thing The hardest thing for me to do Is to play it, play it as it lays The hardest thing The hardest thing for me to do Is living it upside down and sideways Nothing hurts more Than being all alone And not have no one to love me back Nothing hurts more And nothing I can do Unless I turn into an amnesiac Just forget about it, forget about it all The roughest thing The roughest thing to live with Is being addicted to Lorazepam The roughest thing The roughest thing to live with Is living with just who I am I am not young no more And I can see all my options running out It’s watching the witches hour glass Or the last drip from a waterspout The saddest thing The saddest thing to cope with Is that I will never live out a single dream The saddest thing The saddest thing to cope with Turn off my mind, relax and float downstream
8.
No One Hears 05:03
I say my piece And I mean what I say But my words they go flying off into space They bring me to the stars Lonesome and alone Where no one knows my stupid face Out in space no one hears you scream Out in space life is but a dream Listen to me Won't you listen to me All I'm asking is this simple plea Listen to me Won't you listen to me I'm reaching my apogee I am in my capsule I am running out of air And all my systems are shutting down I gaze out a porthole At the vastness of it all And suddenly I am spellbound Out in space it's as silent as a graveyard Out in space you don't got no safeguard Don't got no tether Nothing holding me down And I can feel myself floating free Wish I were back In your ever-loving arms But I don't got no gravity Out in space you don't have a telephone Out in space you are lost and alone
9.
I don't like the way you talk I don't like the way you walk Everything you do makes me sick I don't like your smile The way you move single file Don't care to know how you tick You got your ways and I got mine And our two ways are always askew That is why I hate you I don't like the cut of your jib The way you talk so glib You always seem insincere I don't like your philosophies You ain't exactly Socrates The way you go around spreading fear Your customs seem tribal and antiquated You god seems cruel, your truths untrue That is why I hate you I don't like the way that you stare The way you stare unaware I am not some sort of curiosity Don't like your insidious laugh The way you crane your neck like a giraffe Like you're trying to see through me You want what you want what you want And you do what you must do That is why I hate you
10.
Holy Day 04:34
Sleep in Half-past one Nowhere to go Nothing under the sun Fry up an egg Hash brown fries Lie on the chaise Dreaming butterflies Holy, holy This holy day This holy day I’m on my way On my way Chill out Clozapine Listen to Ella Read a magazine Contemplation Find my zen Atheistic Or born again Take a toke Love my herb Put up a sign Do not disturb Nod off Mid-afternoon The end’s a-coming Much too soon
11.
Looks like I’m in the very final length Of the latter part of my of life And when I look back my feelings are mixed There’s things I’ve done And things I wished done did Most of my shit is broke and can’t be fixed As I limp to the end of the road in this finale episode The angel of death is covering me As the sky above turns black I feel its breath on my back The angel of death is covering me Got more memories than I can use Wish I could unload 'em But there seems to be no way I can let them go There’s the shit with all the women I married And the shit with my family And all the other shit I did for no reason I know There’s nothing that I can do about it There’s nothing that I can change And the world I find myself living in Has gone from weird to downright strange Well I know you’ve heard this story before From every complaining old codger But just wait your turn and see how you fare This thing about time is that there’s never enough But most of us just don’t know it Until you open the cupboard to find it threadbare
12.
A seed of doubt got planted By a very, very bad man Now nothing, nothing's to be believed Who's fault is it, who can we blame When we were so easily deceived Take the sun from my heart Let me learn to despise I'll show you another who cannot tell lies The blind man can't see Who demands to his eyes I'll show you another who sings as he cries A tale in hard times A germ of hate got planted From a filthy, filthy wind Now it's taken root like invasive weeds Should have yanked it out When we had the chance Now look at all its dastardly deeds I cannot be whole As the beggar who sighs I'll show you another who knows as he dies It's a tale in hard times A plague got hold of us And it would not let us go And now it will be here forever Had a chance to kill it But that chance is long gone Like every other human endeavor

about

“All those appositions – communism versus capitalism, female versus male, poor versus rich, black versus white – maybe in a way they’re all red herrings because they keep you searching for something. They keep you dissatisfied and hold out the hope you will be satisfied someday. They’re distractions from any kind of search for internal truth. Maybe because the truth may be too painful to truly grasp. To understand that life may have no meaning is too frightening.”
–Joe Frank

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released September 21, 2023

Cover "Typhoid Mary" by Eliot Wilder

Songs written and performed by Eliot Wilder

Recorded in the throes of the dreaded Covid, September 2023

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The Revenants Boston, Massachusetts

"It was hell," recalls former child.

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