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The Year My Brain Exploded

by The Revenants

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1.
If I fall from grace with you Don’t know what I would do I think I’d likely lose my mind Peel apart like a rind Hey, hey, hey And a-ho, ho, ho Don’t you let me go Don’t let me go Don’t let me go If I fall from grace with you Don’t think that I could make it This feeling well it runs so deep Don’t think that I can shake it You are driving me wild Wild as the raging sea It’s you and me and me and you For all eternity If I fall from grace with you Don’t know how I could live I’ve done all that I can do Now something’s gotta give
2.
Where I Am 03:53
Where I am
3.
Feeling twitchy, my skin is itchy And I just want to jump out of it Pop a pill, shitty still Can't take another bout of it I am blue, what can I do Other than endure, endure Ill at ease, my disease For which there is no easy cure I am so ne-ne-ne-ne-ne So nervous, so nervous Feeling wrecked, the stack is decked Like a dream where you're walking in mud Come tomorrow, just more sorrow My so-called life is a big old dud There ain't no change Can't rearrange Can only play the hand that I'm dealt It's genetic, you say pathetic That's really hitting me below the belt Feeling crappy, I’m unhappy And brother that's a stone-cold fact Can't get around it, confound it People call me a sad sack No one to blame, a doggone shame If only I could point a finger Bottom rung, I get stung By an insect with a deadly stinger
4.
There’s a breach deep in my psyche And it wakes me, wakes me from my sleep It clouds my mind with a sinister feeling Like I’m being stalked by some sort of creep What is hiding under the bed What kind of monster needs to be fed What kind of name does it go by It don't sing you no lullaby There’s a terror that comes in the middle of the night It comes to me from the great beyond I jerk and writhe and scream out your name But you do not respond There’s an ugly mug staring back from the mirror It looks at me, looks me straight in the eye It don’t say nothing but it don’t need to But I let out a hue and cry
5.
The victims and the victimizers Joined in their little dance The latter sets up the rules of the game While the former leaves it all up to chance They both need each other The way a baby needs its mother "You know you want it, you know you need it You have a hunger and I feed it" "Yeah I want it, yeah I need it Sign the contract, no need to read it" It's a mean business A mean, mean business The troubled and the troublemakers Joined hand in hand The latter wants to stir up the pot The former merely follows command The psycho and the sycophant Supplier and the supplicant "You wanna eat it, you wanna suck it You wanna throw it down and fuck it" "I wanna eat it, I wanna drink it Where's the contract, let me ink it"
6.
Who thinks about their lot in life And all the crazy things that they are doing We applaud for the dumbest stuff When we really should be booing We buy junk that we don't really want And then we buy a whole lot more No never once do we ever ask ourselves What we want these stupid things for Live out your life and never ask the question why Slice off yourself the biggest piece of the pie Do as little as you can for each and every other guy Work buy repeat die Who thinks about the things they say Before they open their big old mouths We stand around chewing our cuds Like a bunch of dumb old cows We go through the motions of life But we don't think about the meaning Nothing seems to wake us up Until death comes intervening We want what we want And we want it now We want it now We want what we want and we want it now We want it and how Gimme, gimme, gimme Our rallying cry, rallying cry Gimme, gimme, gimme Before we die, before we die Who thinks about what they think It really is too much trouble It's a whole lot easier to live your life Inside a little bubble Sure it may seem like nothing but A mindless exercise But who on their horse is high enough To tell us how to live our lives
7.
Good Life 02:58
La, la, la, la, la good life La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la good life La, la, la, la, la yeah We got ourselves hot and cold running water We got our food in our Frigidaire We got our Rolling Stones on our radios We say goodnight with our good Lord's prayer We got ourselves a good internet connection We steal it from our neighbors next door We got our porno mags by our turlits We swipe them from our convenience store We do anything we damn well please We live our lives of leisure and ease No one tells us what we should do And if there's no one to thank well we can thank you We got ourselves early onset diabetes We got from all the shit we eat We don't ever wanna think about tomorrow When today it tastes so sweet
8.
Betsy and David are none too bright They believe in God and they think they're right And they wanna teach they're children to be like them So they keep them apart from the great unwashed The world outside gets stomped and squashed And anything they don't like they will condemn They will condemn Homeschool is for losers For the dumb, the feeble and the afeared Homeschool is for losers It's a crime the way that some kids get reared Betsy and David think they know the truth But they've robbed their kids of their time of youth By keeping them separate from all the sinners They don't put stock in science and art They keep themselves in a world apart They think that in the end they will be winners One of God's winners Betsy and David believe in Yahweh Everything else to them "no way" God's word is the only word that they wanna hear They lord it over their kids like a staff The rest of the world is all riffraff They live in the united states of constant fear Constant fear
9.
I play on and on just like a broken record I play on and on No time to be retreating No time to let it all go No time to be a three-day weakling No time to take it slow, slow, slow I play on and on just like a broken record I play on and on No time to be a joker No time to mess around No time to put off your dreams till tomorrow 'Cause soon you'll be in the ground, ground, ground I play on and on just like a broken record I play on and on Gotta live, gotta live, gotta live for today Gotta live, gotta live before it all goes away Gotta live, gotta live, gotta live for today Gotta live, gotta live before it all goes away No time to be a dirty liar No time for your bullshit No time to be deceiving yourself No time for nothing 'cause this is it
10.
Bad Science 03:20
Beliefs are like the air They float around but never seem to come down They are convenient but what do they really do Is to keep you from understanding what is true Bad science Do you believe in alchemy 'Cause if you do I gotta a bridge I wanna sell to you Some philosophy You jerk your knee Don't care 'bout double-blind You got all the truth you need to find Give me the data That's all I need Give me the data Don't give me a pseudoscientific screed Having faith is such a tricky thing Without it you're lost but with it you're pretty lost as well I rely on what I know It's the way I understand What I can know what I can really know
11.
Nothing that I say makes any fucking sense Nothing that I do has fucking meaning Nothing that I think is fucking worth the fucking thinking I’m up, I down, I’m fucking leaning Am I making it clear Do da do da do da do It's what you do Do da do da do da do I do that too Nothing that I want is worth the fucking wanting Nothing that I hope for is worth the fucking hope Nothing that I dream is a dream to give fuck all ‘Cause if want for something I am a fucking dope Am I making it clear Nothing was all I ever had my fucking hands on Nothing that I could somehow be fucking stuck to Nothing was all I ever got for my fucking efforts So I gotta say fucking fuck you Am I making it clear
12.
Split wide open Like a bloody pomegranate Down the dark Down the dark Turn the screw Wrench the bolt tight Down the dark Down the dark Never gonna heal Never gonna heal Down the dark Down the dark Hot to the touch Burns into bastard blue Down the dark Down the dark Nothing I ever do Is ever good enough for you Down the dark Down the dark Ripped apart Never gonna mend Down the dark Down the dark Lost my way No direction home Down the dark Down the dark

about

I often feel lost in the essence of the day, the mild wind and easy clouds, the graceful easy white ass of the day, that I want nothing more than to become a leaf, not to write about it, but to be taken in and bathed.

credits

released March 24, 2024

Songs written and rocked by Eliot Wilder

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The Revenants Boston, Massachusetts

"It was hell," recalls former child.

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