When I was a young twit
I bought me a great big model kit
Spread all those pieces out across the floor
Shut myself in and locked the door
There were all these plastic trees
And directions written in Cantonese
Whipped out a tube of my model cement
Took one whiff and away I went
Tried to get it together
Tried to be all big and strong
But no matter what I did
And no matter what I do
Everything done gone wrong
When I was a rising star
I built me a great big electric car
I thought that it might just take over the world
That ain't the way that it unfurled
I went to China, left Carolina
Let's say that it was not a great big hit
They turned it into a model kit
No matter what I do, I can't get it right
No matter how I try with all my might
Can't get it right with all my might
Now I am an old man
My life over before it began
Mostly I sit and stare at the Internet
Look at porn and place a bet
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