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What You Mean

from Weepin' Songs by The Revenants

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about

For Astrid,

lyrics

If you can believe it I was once afraid
To have a kid of my own
Thought that I might mess her up
The way that my dad did
I still remember his look and his tone
He was mad and he'd hit me with the back his hand
Or a paddle made out of wood
Don't know why he did it but he did it and he did it
He did it 'cause he could

What you mean, what you mean to me
Shouldn't be so hard to say
What you mean, what you mean to me
I'm just glad you're here today
You're here today

When I got older I thought a lot about it
I thought how I might act if I were a dad
Would I be mean, would I be so hurtful
What would I do when I got mad
Would I punch my kid
The way that he did
Would I make her fall down and cry
But then I decided I'd rather not have a child
Than to be that man with the cold gray eye

Not saying I'm better
Just saying I'm different
Hope I learned a thing or two on the way
It took me a while
But your mom she was patient
Sorry 'bout all that delay

The day I first saw you everything in me changed
Yeah I know that's a really old saw
But it's so true as true as cobalt blue
It's as true as inviolable law
Now I got to tell you just how glad I am
And so lucky you came along
Things worked out, it just took a little time
And for your birthday I wrote this song

credits

from Weepin' Songs, released December 15, 2023

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The Revenants Boston, Massachusetts

"It was hell," recalls former child.

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