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Fuck Marry Kill

by The Revenants

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1.
Die for You 04:48
Just your face, just your eyes Make me go insane Just your hands, just your heart Fill me with pain What would I do, what would I do I'd die for you Die for you If you think that I am kidding Better think again I want us together In a life without end Just your hands, just your voice Push me to the brink Just your mouth, just your hair Can't hear myself think What do I do, what do I do I'd die for you Die for you If you think that I am kidding Better think again I want us together In a life without end Just your mind, just your belly Can't block it out Just your smile, just your love Leaves me no doubt What can I do, what can I do
2.
Kill 04:05
I can taste it in the air Sort of sour and like a strange summer seam I can feel it on my skin A dust that blows in from the east Our sweat rolls off like hard bop jazz And our laughter comes from laughing gas A crowd bursts into a great blue flame And the girls are dancing with poppies on their eyes I leap into a woozy green void I return a ruined and shuttered man I see my Astrid dancing light She is playing something from Bowie and Morrissey I read the news today oh boy Then I went upstairs and had a smoke A wave consumed the Empire State And the stock exchange went sailing out to lunch When someone shows you who they are Believe them the first time Black out I can hear the true believers whining The WiFi here is pretty bad They march in step like a German queue They’re not seeking your approbation It’s times like these that make me wonder If I can recognize my own face Maybe I am you and you are me I like your body more than mine
3.
When I think of you and I think of you Each and every day I can see us making love Skin on skin An ever unfolding bouquet Well I wrestle with my stupid heart And it’s tearing, tearing me apart No matter how I feel Or how much I want it to be real It is a forbidden love My soul has opened wide But it just can’t be justified It is a forbidden love When I think of us and I think of us Every time I draw a breath I want to be inside of you Tooth and nail From now until my death Well I know it’s all a fantasy ‘Cause it will never, it will never be There are some rules that can’t be broken No matter how bad we want them broke There are some laws that can’t be flouted They need to be as solid as some old oak When I dream of you and I dream of you Each and every night Our bodies are entwined Bleeding into one Smoldering like anthracite Yeah I can’t help the way that I feel Or just how much, how much I want it to be real
4.
Tiny Shoes 05:32
Not so sure of myself, no At least not anymore Err on the side of caution Always looking for the back door When it comes to compliance I like to get in on the ground floor I make a move and I just stutter My grace is pretty piss-poor I got dem ol' hesitation blues I take tiny steps in my tiny shoes Don't trust myself, no So much I've misconstrued Want to play it safe Play it a little subdued One thing I know for sure One false move and I'm screwed I take a step and I trip Just like a clumsy dude Don't believe in myself I lack confidence I don't stir up no feelings That might be too immense I'm not anyone you'd care to know I won't rush to your defense I have no aspiration You could say I'm pretty dense Yeah my steps are pretty tiny And so are my shoes I walk around on tiptoes With these hesitation blues I am really clumsy, a clumsy old clown I can't keep myself from falling down
5.
Missing You 04:11
Time creeps slowly like a slug When you’re alone And you’ve got nothing but a thought I have a smoke And suddenly I’m weightless Like some imagined freelance astronaut Can’t say how much I am missing you But that’s never stopped me from trying Because to say how much I am missing you Is better than saying I’m dying But I’m dying, dying for you The world spins oddly more slowly And gravity feels a little bit queer First I’m drinking blood and sand And then suddenly I’m a bombardier How I wish How I wish you were here Year after year Part of me has gone missing And it’s the part That makes me come alive Without you I am dust A wound in the desert Where only a snake can survive
6.
Que Sera 03:56
Whatever she thinks Whenever she thinks about him She knows it’s not apropos Is it love Is it indifference He's never gonna know Que sera, sera Whatever will be will be Que sera, sera The future's not ours to see She’s got her life She’s got her kin He is not on her mind No not for a second But to him They are always intertwined And what he thinks is wishful thinking Keeps him going when his heart is sinking No matter how much he tries to let her go In the end he's shot with cupid’s bow Whatever he feels However he feels it Don't matter in the end She’ll go her way And he’ll go his Though his wound will never mend
7.
My Marbles 04:11
What day of the week is it Is it Monday, is it Saturday Can’t keep my shit straight no more I get my hands on it, it slips away I’m losing my marbles What’s left of my sanity See them roll away Roll away from me What time of the day is it Could be morning, could be afternoon Didn’t I have an appointment Something huge, something picayune I’m losing my marbles What’s left of my sanity Thought I left my glasses over here Thought I left my pillbox over there What does it matter anyway I don't care, I don't care What is your name again Is it Bobby, is it Steve Memories drop by from time to time But then just as quickly they leave
8.
Marry 05:10
What's the sense in fighting anymore What's the sense in slamming your door It don't bring us closer It don't bring us closer 'Cause when we fight we always lose Let bygones be bygones Why has love fallen out of fashion Why is it so hard to act with compassion It don't make us better It don't make us better 'Cause when we hate we always lose Let bygones be bygones I pull for you You pull for me That is the way it is meant to be Let bygones be bygones Let bygones be bygones We spend our days in pointless pursuits One side rebukes while the other refutes It all comes to nothing It all comes to nothing 'Cause when we fight we always lose Let bygones be bygones
9.
I held on to you the best I could Even though I knew it wasn't doing you any good I was not ready to cut you loose And I guess me holding on is a form of abuse The pros and cons I was debating But in the end my love was suffocating No, no, no, don't wanna be letting go No, no, don't wanna be letting go of you Don't wanna be letting go adieu I tried to justify these primal actions But they were all based on primal abstractions One wants to care just not too much One wants to hold on but not clutch I should've considered the long-term effects But for me that way of thinking Was much too complex You were my single most precious thing And my intentions were always pure I was only trying to find a way To make my love for you endure But I got hung up on my own needs And I did not see you were trying to grow All I knew was my selfish heart And I did not want to let you go, no Last week I went to see the life you built Part of me was proud but part felt guilt You seemed OK but a little lonely And I worried about my one and only How much more might you have done If you just had been someone else's son
10.
I am out here on the highway Driving between hither and yon And I wonder where I am going And how I can keep moving along Is it all a dream Will I ever know And if I wake will it all be gone I study the stars And I ask my god Will I be home before dawn I make my way to a sad motel And in my room I find a holy book It tells me Jesus is my friend And I feel the love of the holy spook And he says, Keep on the road The road ain't long And you will be home before dawn I am back out on that highway Looking for a little peace of mind Don't got no maps or a destination But my stars are all aligned
11.
Fuck 03:51
Told you once that I liked your hair And then you went and tied it in a bun Told you once that I liked your face Then you covered it up like a nun Told you once that I liked your hands Then you slipped on a pair of gloves Told you once that I love-love-loved you And you said I’d never be one of your loves What I wouldn’t do What I wouldn’t do What I wouldn’t do to fuck you Told you once that I liked your eyes Then you went and donned a pair of specks Told you once that I liked your mind And then you went some way to perplex Told you once that you were making me me crazy And you agreed I could be nuts Told you I would give you my busted heart But to you it’s all blood and guts Told you once that I liked your smell Then you slathered yourself with perfume Told you once I liked your bed Then you walled off your bedroom Told you once I liked your voice Then you all but went mute Told you once I liked your laugh And you said you didn’t give a hoot
12.
Exit Plan 05:43
Well I hung around as long as I could Even though it was such a drag It got so bad that I wanted to leave I even packed my bag Well we can pretend that we are in love And I'll always be your man But I know full well in the back of my mind I got me an exit plan You convinced me to stay When I knew it was wrong I went against my guts We tried to make it work for the sake of the kid We both were a little bit nuts It's always best to have an out Tucked away in the back your mind So when things get rough you'll always know Where to look for the exit sign Well we struggled so hard year after year But things never got any better One day I awoke to find you were gone And in your place was a letter

about

Part of me has gone missing
And it’s the part
That makes me come alive
Without you I am dust
A wound in the desert
Where only a snake can survive

credits

released December 10, 2023

Cover "Fuck Marry Kill" by Eliot Wilder

Songs written and performed by Eliot Wilder

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The Revenants Boston, Massachusetts

"It was hell," recalls former child.

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