I can tell you what’s gone wrong
It’s all about your attitude
If you only thought well of yourself
Your health would be extremely rude
Take it from me I know the truth
I am a learned homeopath
Drink a quart of apple vinegar
And plunk yourself down in a sitz bath
This is not no placebo
What the hell do the experts know
I may not be a doctor
But you can take it from me
I may not be a doctor
But I play one on TV
Do you feel exhausted
ANd hate yourself to a fault
Doncha know the body and mind is connected
So everything wrong is your damn fault
Take honey and iodine
Take some tar and nettle juice
Mix it all together
And shoot it out of your caboose
Drink your whey and eat your prunes
You will fly away like a bunch of balloons
Here is a gracious gift
You're a fool to refuse it
Whatever you do is up to you
Any which way you choose it
Take yourself some caprum
And drink yourself some chamomile
Tune in to your modalities
Can't tell you how good you'll feel
It will work for you
If you don't think it through like Scooby-do
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