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Kaddish

by The Revenants

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1.
Curious Inventions 05:08
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In the back of my closet There’s alternate dimension I’ve kept it hidden all of my life No one knows what lies beyond that portal Not my kid and not my wife You can find me there The man with the curious hair These are my curious inventions I make them up all the time These are my curious inventions And I will keep them with mine There are signposts Written in a language That only I can understand I know I run the risk of disappearing Into my own invented land Don't you bother to knock The door will not unlock It is a safe house From a world in peril A world that’s drowning in strife It's where I go when I am broken It's where I go to save my life The kid asks me What you doing in there Won’t you come out and play with me I say you’re daddy’s busy in here Inventing his own reality I left the word behind For the benefit of mankind
2.
Shadow Play 03:22
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The dream that I am having now Is the same dream I've been having This night and for all time I'm in a cell awaiting execution It makes no reason And it makes no rhyme It is a shadow play And I am the player Got no choice but to play along The me in this cell Is always the same me But the rest is a revolving cast One night the priest is now the guy Who played some weird part in my past It is a shadow play And I am the player It's a world gone wrong I tell the judge and jury That this is all a dream But it makes me look like a lunatic No one wants to believe me And why would they "String him up clickety-click" It is a shadow play And I am the player Got no choice but to play along As the dream winds up I'm taken to the gallows And I scream, When I die you die with me 'Cause when this dream ends You will end with it I am he as you are he as you are we It is a shadow play And I am the player It's a world gone wrong
3.
Got a Hold of Me 02:56
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In one dream there is a wet black organism With tendrils glomming on to my skin It pulls me toward its giant gaping maw Then it's off with my head like Anne Boleyn Got a hold of me Got a hold of me Got a hold of me Got a hold of me In another dream I'm chased by a fat girl Who grabs me with her big fat arms She sinks her teeth into my tender belly And I am seduced by her wily charms In another dream I am clinging to the ceiling Far below is a yawning dark pit I'm holding on like a spider for my dear life But then I fall into the thick of it In another dream I am vacating my bowels When I am sucked into great abyss I am passing through a pyloric value And I am met with a big wet kiss
4.
Sunshine and Rainbows 04:50
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This is the place And this is the time And there ain't nothing I can do but be in it Try to escape but the doors are locked There's a whole wide world out there But I can't see in it But still I believe that anything goes Still I believe in sunshine and rainbows This is the home And this is the armchair And this is me settling in forever I am reading a novel And then I slip into a dream And I dream about a strange new endeavor I am you and your are me That's how I imagine it to be This is the heart And this is the blood And it is coursing through my veins I am alive Or so it would seem Before the vultures come And pick through my remains There is place where I can be The home of the brave and land of the free Still I believe in sunshine and rainbows
5.
Old Soul 04:48
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Old soul I’m an old, old soul My bones are weary My mind is bleary Catch a falling star I’m a stranger, a slave, and a prisoner to my grave Old soul I’m an old, old soul My spirit's broken The jury’s spoken Hang the SOB I’m a stranger, a slave, and a prisoner to my grave My best days are done Say goodbye to the sun I can only look back The future is black What more can I say I’m a stranger, a slave, and a prisoner to my grave Old soul I’m an old, old soul Such a drag Wrung out rag Tossed onto the heap I’m a stranger, a slave, and a prisoner to my grave Old soul I’m an old, old soul I am a shambles My speech it rambles Sense make not I I’m a stranger, a slave, and a prisoner to my grave
6.
My Thick Head 04:28
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I know it's impossible It's highly improbable But still I go on dreaming what I am dreaming Just wanna stay here a little longer And bask in your bright rays Your twilight's last gleaming When will I get it through my thick head You're never gonna live up to my ideal Yeah when will I get it through my thick head You're never gonna feel what I feel It's all just a fantasy And it's gone on too long And I feel your sense of frustration "When's gonna give this up When's he gonna let it be It's all some kind of mental masturbation" You're never gonna love me Yeah I know that much to be true You're never gonna love me And it's left me all black and blue I know I'm ridiculous A truly silly man To think that I could find a place in your heart But I can't stop trying I am driven like the wind That's blowing the whole wide world apart
7.
Hang On to Me 05:49
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I know that you want to let me go I know that you've had enough Don't want to be around when the going gets tough And the going is getting tough I know that you're sick me Sick of me and all my tales Got a lot of crazy tales Crazy tales bout my epic fails But I am asking you this Begging for your humanity Don't ever let me go Please hang on to me Hang on to me I know I'm not worth the bother I know I'm not worth the fuss I am a bitter a pill and a crazy old cuss One crazy old cuss I may not have much to offer Nothing more than the clothes I wear But if you give me half a chance I'll come through for you I swear Is it too much to ask Is it too much of a chore Please, please reconsider me Before you shut the door I know that you got a life And I know that I am not a part But if you give me half a chance I can find a in your heart Just hang on to me
8.
Eat the Rich 04:06
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Why don't you sit down and shut up Before I shut you up 'Cause I will shut you up permanently There is too much fuckin' bullshit And a heap of broken promises You have lied to me one, two, three Eat the rich, eat the rich Tear them down limb by limb Eat the rich, eat the rich Let's do it on a whim I hate the stupid way that you look Those stupid dad jeans of yours And the way your gut hangs over your pants You always root for your home team But your home team ain't from your home They're a bunch of foreign transplants One day everything you know will be gone for good And all the money in the world It won't save your ass One day you will vanish from this place And you will be pushing up crabgrass
9.
I Play One on TV 05:12
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I can tell you what’s gone wrong It’s all about your attitude If you only thought well of yourself Your health would be extremely rude Take it from me I know the truth I am a learned homeopath Drink a quart of apple vinegar And plunk yourself down in a sitz bath This is not no placebo What the hell do the experts know I may not be a doctor But you can take it from me I may not be a doctor But I play one on TV Do you feel exhausted ANd hate yourself to a fault Doncha know the body and mind is connected So everything wrong is your damn fault Take honey and iodine Take some tar and nettle juice Mix it all together And shoot it out of your caboose Drink your whey and eat your prunes You will fly away like a bunch of balloons Here is a gracious gift You're a fool to refuse it Whatever you do is up to you Any which way you choose it Take yourself some caprum And drink yourself some chamomile Tune in to your modalities Can't tell you how good you'll feel It will work for you If you don't think it through like Scooby-do
10.
A Kind of Madness 04:45
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These feels of mine, what can I say Wanna to shake 'em, wish they'd go away Try to drown 'em, try to stab their heart But it don't matter they don't depart All I want is a little piece of mind Just a day where I can finally unwind A kind of madness, that's what I feel It may seem crazy but it feels so real A kind of madness, deep and blue It don't leave me This madness of you Feeling trapped, there is no escape A sticky mess, a formless shape No explaining, no reason why It's in the dirt, it's in a winter sky Years go by and there is no release Wishing a wish that it would cease A kind of madness, it lives in me A kind of madness, it won't let me be A kind of madness It hangs on and on These feels of mine, yeah they never rest They go on and on, unwanted guest I get drunk, I get high I shoot myself right between the eye And still I just can't get no relief Just days and days of endless grief
11.
Kaddish 03:27
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אבל: יִתְגַּדַּל וְיִתְקַדַּשׁ שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא. [קהל: אמן] בְּעָלְמָא דִּי בְרָא כִרְעוּתֵהּ וְיַמְלִיךְ מַלְכוּתֵהּ בְּחַיֵּיכון וּבְיומֵיכון וּבְחַיֵּי דְכָל בֵּית יִשרָאֵל בַּעֲגָלָא וּבִזְמַן קָרִיב, וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [קהל: אמן] קהל ואבל: יְהֵא שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא מְבָרַךְ לְעָלַם וּלְעָלְמֵי עָלְמַיָּא: אבל: יִתְבָּרַךְ וְיִשְׁתַּבַּח וְיִתְפָּאַר וְיִתְרומַם וְיִתְנַשּא וְיִתְהַדָּר וְיִתְעַלֶּה וְיִתְהַלָּל שְׁמֵהּ דְּקֻדְשָׁא. בְּרִיךְ הוּא. [קהל: בריך הוא:] לְעֵלָּא מִן כָּל בִּרְכָתָא בעשי”ת: לְעֵלָּא לְעֵלָּא מִכָּל וְשִׁירָתָא תֻּשְׁבְּחָתָא וְנֶחֱמָתָא דַּאֲמִירָן בְּעָלְמָא. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [קהל: אמן] יְהֵא שְׁלָמָא רַבָּא מִן שְׁמַיָּא וְחַיִּים עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשרָאֵל. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [קהל:אמן] עושה שָׁלום בעשי”ת: הַשָּׁלום בִּמְרומָיו הוּא יַעֲשה שָׁלום עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשרָאֵל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [קהל: אמן]
12.
My Struggle 04:37
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Here is my struggle Here is my beef I'm up against it and I can't get no relief I look at my world In too much detail Makes me crazy on an epic scale This is my struggle This is my scourge This is my problem From which I may not emerge This is my struggle This is my fight I do not go quietly into that good night This is my issue This is my trouble I live my life outside the bubble I chafe and reel I rail and I rage But in the end I just can't ever seem to engage Wish you were here How I wish you were here Wish you were here How I wish you were here We could be two lost souls Swimming in this fish bowl Year after year This is my battle This is my pain I've given my all and nothing remains I've done my best But it's come to naught This uphill war that I have fought

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"Accepting the absurdity of everything around us is one step, a necessary experience: it should not become a dead end. It arouses a revolt that can become fruitful. An analysis of the idea of revolt could help us to discover ideas capable of restoring a relative meaning to existence, although a meaning that would always be in danger."
–Camus

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released December 19, 2023

Photo "Kaddish" by Eliot Wilder

Songs written and performed by Eliot Wilder

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The Revenants Boston, Massachusetts

"It was hell," recalls former child.

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