Learned about God and the Golden Rule
Learned so many things in my Sunday school
Like the blood of Christ and all things divine
And how Jesus turned the water into the wine
Learned about religion and its history
Learned about the supernatural mystery
Learned about the good and learned about the bad
And the way those Catholic schoolgirls wear that plaid
Going back to Sunday school, all right
Going back to Sunday school, uptight
Learned about the difference between them and us
Learned about consequences if I should cuss
Learned about giving up candy for lent
And if I do wrong how should I repent
Learned about the gospels and how they apply
Learned I better not ever tell a lie
'Cause when I die I will go to hell
As sure as the nuns ring the church bell
Learned that God will smite me if I am ever mean
Learned to stay away from thoughts impure and unclean
Learned about abstinence, learned to use rhythm
Learned that jism rhymes with catechism
Learned all of my prayers from that great big holy book
Learned to keep away from priests who get that funny look
Kept a code of silence all about the secret stuff
Learned to be polite and never give off any guff
Ate my fish on Friday's dipped in tartar sauce
Got down on my knees and prayed to Jesus on the cross
Learned that I must not fuss, bitch or complain
And never, ever, ever take the Lord's name in vain
Learned to tell a sinner from a saint
Learned to tell who's righteous from those who ain't
Learned when to sit and when to speak
When to take it on the chin and to turn the other cheek
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